Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to hell. It's nice to see you all here. I am the devil, Good Evening. But you can call me Steve, if you like. We like to keep things informal here, as well as infernal. You're all here for, let's see, 4 years, but believe me, it's going to feel like eternity.
Will you stop screaming! Thank you.
As I was saying, you will be here for four long years. The Malay saying that goes 'pejam-celik-pejam-celik' will not apply during your stay as you will be expected to stay 'celik' most of the time.
Please be aware that there are no emergency exits should you find our treatment unbearable as you have all signed an iron clad contract beforehand. Any attempts to bring this matter to justice will be quashed by the devil's advocate himself.
Please note that entertainment and relaxation is totally prohibited. Your only source of rejoice should only be when you find that all your balances total up.
On a lighter note, the administration has decided to rename your position from 'eternal infernal slaves' to 'associates and/or students'. We find that this is a perfect way to motivate you suckers and to avoid legal actions.
That's all for now, I hope you would enjoy you stay here with us, and I'll see you at the barbecue tonight.
based on an act by Rowan Atkinson
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